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Schwul und plötzlich hetero?

19. Oktober 2011 um 14:05

Hi Leute,

Hab ein ganz besonderes 'Problem' und weiß offen gesagt nicht so recht, was ich davon halten soll!
Eigentlich bin ich schwul, hab mit 14 angefangen Jungs geil zu finden, mit 17 hatte ich das erste mal Sex mit einem Jungen, mit 20 fing ich an mich zu outen bei meinen Freunden und meiner Familie (bin allerdings an der Arbeit noch ungeoutet), nun bin ich 26, hatte auch schon Beziehungen mit Männern und nie Interesse an Frauen gehabt (außer dass ich mal in nen Mädel verschossen war, als ich in der 7. Klasse war ).

Aber vor kurzem habe ich angefangen mich in eine Arbeitskollegin zu verlieben, sie ist wirklich total bezaubernd! Und wenn ich mich selbstbefriedige, dann stelle ich mir vor, wie es wäre mit ihr zu schlafen. Solche Gedanken hatte ich vorher noch NIE NIE NIE in meinem Leben.Meine kollegin und ich flirten auch sehr miteinander und ich spüre, dass auch sie mich interessant findet.

Was soll ich denn jetzt tun? Ich meine, ich hätte kein Problem damit das ganze zu akzeptieren, ich meine, hat ja andersrum auch irgendwie geklappt ;o)
Aber was, wenn das jetzt nur eine Phase ist? Will mich auch nicht auf meine Kollegin einlassen und nach nem halben Jahr sagen 'Du sorry, aber ich glaub ich spiel doch lieber mit Jungs...!'. Und soll ich es ihr gleich sagen, dass ich noch nie was mit einer Frau hatte, aber dafür schon mit Männern?

IHR FRAUEN DA DRAUßEN! Was würdet ihr wollen und wie würdet ihr damit umgehen, wenn euer Freund sich plötzlich als 'Ex-schwuler' outen würde?

Hoffe, jemand kann mir nen vernünftigen Rat geben!

P.S.: Mit meinen Freunden kann ich (noch) nicht darüber reden, die würden glaub ich komplett durchdrehen! ;o)

19. Oktober 2011 um 14:16

Bin absolut keine Expertin
Aber ich bin für Ehrlichkeit in einer Beziehung. Ich würde erst sehen, ob sie eine Beziehung überhaupt will. Und wenn es dann um das Ausgehen geht, kann man das Thema auf den Tisch bringen. Würde zu mir ein Mann sagen: "Das erzähle ich jetzt nur Dir, weil ich Dir vertraue und Du mir wichtig bist" würde ich das als Kompliment verstehen und ihn ganz sicher nicht danach in der Firma outen (aber vielleicht bei der besten Freundin) sondern so oder so damit umgehen. Wie Deine Kollegin mit der Nachricht umgeht, weiß ich natürlich nicht. Mich würde es befremden und ich hätte viel Rede- und Aufklärungsbedarf, aber ein absolutes NoGo wäre es für mich nicht. Ich hätte aber als Frau an Deiner Seite die gleichen Ängste wie Du, also ob Du in 6 Monaten noch zu mir stehst und mich sexy findest. Von daher wäre es gut, wenn Du Dir gaaanz sicher wärst, bevor Du den nächsten Schritt machst. Natürlich kann man sich nie ganz sicher sein, aber Du musst auf jeden Fall mehr Vertrauen in Dich selbst haben, wenn Deine Partnerin Vertrauen in Dich haben soll.

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19. Oktober 2011 um 21:02

..
also ich finde auch,dass du es ihr erzählen solltest.taste dich da langsam ran..geh vielleicht anfangs etwas spaßig an das thema..um zu schauen wie offen sie ist.
denn spätestens wenn es bei euch ernster wird wird sie merken,dass du noch keine erfahrung mit frauen hast...

ich drück die daumen

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4. Januar 2018 um 0:29

I started going to a psychologist, by recommendation of my brother and my mother, the same person who had seen me when I was 11 years old, is a Catholic believing psychologist. I had three queries, and he told me to write down on a piece of paper everything I remembered about the difficult events of my childhood, because when I was 10 years old I had a very difficult situation: from one moment to the next I did not want to go back to school, I was very anxious and scared, I just wanted to be in the house with my mom and that nobody asked me anything about why it would not bother me. I started to Somatize diseases, my mom did not know what to do etc. The next year I tried to go back but I could not. Up to a year and a half or so I was able to go back to another school. I never understood what happened to me, I had some symptoms but I did not understand the causes. That had consequences in the rest of my life until recently etc. Then on two occasions I tried to do the task that the psychologist had given me to remember that time of my childhood to see what new I could find, but I just could not remember anything new , and those two nights I could not sleep almost nothing. But at least a little after going to the Holy Mass (I went daily and now I do) I arrived at my house and began to see things like that in my childhood: a rape a very strong wound in my being as a male (I have known that when you have a trauma the mind can forget it as a self defense mechanism). Immediately and as always I tried to forgive that person with prayer, and then I began to feel as if something was taken from me, and with great vehemence I regained my identity as a man. Another day after praying the Holy Rosary, I began to have another small vision of that same time of my childhood. As a result of my constant prayer and struggle to please God at all times, I received inner healing throughout my life. The love or rejection and wounds that are received from the mother's womb during childhood and later throughout life affect and build each person in their integral being. In my personal case I had situations of abuse in my childhood, rejections and ridicule of people. Some of these situations were hidden in my memory, even so I had the symptoms: anxiety, anguish, panic attacks etc. Through prayer I was able to remember and heal these things, and these symptoms began to disappear little by little.
 
It is necessary to realize the existence of a world not only material but also spiritual. In my process of spiritual liberation that goes hand in hand with inner healing, I could through prayer, discover other elements that affected me since I was in the womb: curses and witchcraft of people close to my family and me etc.
 
In addition to prayer, and trust in God, it is also necessary to have a constant attitude in daily life. I lived in trauma and in sadness and I did not overcome that state, the opposite is to forgive, to love everyone and enemies as well, to try to be happy always so the opposite feels, humility etc. Do not let yourself be overcome by anxiety, anguish, sadness, pride, hatred, etc. Jesus is our only way, He is our joy.
 
Although it has been a difficult path for me, it really is worth it. The amount of wounds and difficult moments in my life was so strong, huge wounds and wounds in my self-esteem but especially in my being as a man, in my masculinity. Jesus has healed me, gives me strength and above all the love I so much sought, in prayer, in a very special way in the Eucharist and also in devotion to his Blessed Mother, who is also my Mother. I feel that the old thirst to look for another man is extinguished, I am that man that looked so much, I recovered my lost identity !!! I love God first, I love myself and I love others as myself. I have forgiven myself and I have forgiven others.
 
People look at me differently: they respect me and take me into account much more than before. I feel better. I also feel now a healthy and true attraction to women, not uncontrolled or forced, something natural. I have also received many other enormous blessings in my work and study.
 
It is not something magical, it is something of struggle and above all of having a lot of faith in God and not accepting defeat never, never, ever. Without God this process could not have been carried out, it is Jesus who has done it all, the only thing I have done has been to let myself be guided by Him and trust Him. I asked God for help from the bottom of my soul and He he listened Of course there are blessings, but there will also continue to be problems and difficulties. I have to stay united with Jesus to keep me on my feet. I can not do anything, and I am nothing without Him.
 

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4. Januar 2018 um 0:29

I started going to a psychologist, by recommendation of my brother and my mother, the same person who had seen me when I was 11 years old, is a Catholic believing psychologist. I had three queries, and he told me to write down on a piece of paper everything I remembered about the difficult events of my childhood, because when I was 10 years old I had a very difficult situation: from one moment to the next I did not want to go back to school, I was very anxious and scared, I just wanted to be in the house with my mom and that nobody asked me anything about why it would not bother me. I started to Somatize diseases, my mom did not know what to do etc. The next year I tried to go back but I could not. Up to a year and a half or so I was able to go back to another school. I never understood what happened to me, I had some symptoms but I did not understand the causes. That had consequences in the rest of my life until recently etc. Then on two occasions I tried to do the task that the psychologist had given me to remember that time of my childhood to see what new I could find, but I just could not remember anything new , and those two nights I could not sleep almost nothing. But at least a little after going to the Holy Mass (I went daily and now I do) I arrived at my house and began to see things like that in my childhood: a rape a very strong wound in my being as a male (I have known that when you have a trauma the mind can forget it as a self defense mechanism). Immediately and as always I tried to forgive that person with prayer, and then I began to feel as if something was taken from me, and with great vehemence I regained my identity as a man. Another day after praying the Holy Rosary, I began to have another small vision of that same time of my childhood. As a result of my constant prayer and struggle to please God at all times, I received inner healing throughout my life. The love or rejection and wounds that are received from the mother's womb during childhood and later throughout life affect and build each person in their integral being. In my personal case I had situations of abuse in my childhood, rejections and ridicule of people. Some of these situations were hidden in my memory, even so I had the symptoms: anxiety, anguish, panic attacks etc. Through prayer I was able to remember and heal these things, and these symptoms began to disappear little by little.
 
It is necessary to realize the existence of a world not only material but also spiritual. In my process of spiritual liberation that goes hand in hand with inner healing, I could through prayer, discover other elements that affected me since I was in the womb: curses and witchcraft of people close to my family and me etc.
 
In addition to prayer, and trust in God, it is also necessary to have a constant attitude in daily life. I lived in trauma and in sadness and I did not overcome that state, the opposite is to forgive, to love everyone and enemies as well, to try to be happy always so the opposite feels, humility etc. Do not let yourself be overcome by anxiety, anguish, sadness, pride, hatred, etc. Jesus is our only way, He is our joy.
 
Although it has been a difficult path for me, it really is worth it. The amount of wounds and difficult moments in my life was so strong, huge wounds and wounds in my self-esteem but especially in my being as a man, in my masculinity. Jesus has healed me, gives me strength and above all the love I so much sought, in prayer, in a very special way in the Eucharist and also in devotion to his Blessed Mother, who is also my Mother. I feel that the old thirst to look for another man is extinguished, I am that man that looked so much, I recovered my lost identity !!! I love God first, I love myself and I love others as myself. I have forgiven myself and I have forgiven others.
 
People look at me differently: they respect me and take me into account much more than before. I feel better. I also feel now a healthy and true attraction to women, not uncontrolled or forced, something natural. I have also received many other enormous blessings in my work and study.
 
It is not something magical, it is something of struggle and above all of having a lot of faith in God and not accepting defeat never, never, ever. Without God this process could not have been carried out, it is Jesus who has done it all, the only thing I have done has been to let myself be guided by Him and trust Him. I asked God for help from the bottom of my soul and He he listened Of course there are blessings, but there will also continue to be problems and difficulties. I have to stay united with Jesus to keep me on my feet. I can not do anything, and I am nothing without Him.
 

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4. Januar 2018 um 0:29

I started going to a psychologist, by recommendation of my brother and my mother, the same person who had seen me when I was 11 years old, is a Catholic believing psychologist. I had three queries, and he told me to write down on a piece of paper everything I remembered about the difficult events of my childhood, because when I was 10 years old I had a very difficult situation: from one moment to the next I did not want to go back to school, I was very anxious and scared, I just wanted to be in the house with my mom and that nobody asked me anything about why it would not bother me. I started to Somatize diseases, my mom did not know what to do etc. The next year I tried to go back but I could not. Up to a year and a half or so I was able to go back to another school. I never understood what happened to me, I had some symptoms but I did not understand the causes. That had consequences in the rest of my life until recently etc. Then on two occasions I tried to do the task that the psychologist had given me to remember that time of my childhood to see what new I could find, but I just could not remember anything new , and those two nights I could not sleep almost nothing. But at least a little after going to the Holy Mass (I went daily and now I do) I arrived at my house and began to see things like that in my childhood: a rape a very strong wound in my being as a male (I have known that when you have a trauma the mind can forget it as a self defense mechanism). Immediately and as always I tried to forgive that person with prayer, and then I began to feel as if something was taken from me, and with great vehemence I regained my identity as a man. Another day after praying the Holy Rosary, I began to have another small vision of that same time of my childhood. As a result of my constant prayer and struggle to please God at all times, I received inner healing throughout my life. The love or rejection and wounds that are received from the mother's womb during childhood and later throughout life affect and build each person in their integral being. In my personal case I had situations of abuse in my childhood, rejections and ridicule of people. Some of these situations were hidden in my memory, even so I had the symptoms: anxiety, anguish, panic attacks etc. Through prayer I was able to remember and heal these things, and these symptoms began to disappear little by little.
 
It is necessary to realize the existence of a world not only material but also spiritual. In my process of spiritual liberation that goes hand in hand with inner healing, I could through prayer, discover other elements that affected me since I was in the womb: curses and witchcraft of people close to my family and me etc.
 
In addition to prayer, and trust in God, it is also necessary to have a constant attitude in daily life. I lived in trauma and in sadness and I did not overcome that state, the opposite is to forgive, to love everyone and enemies as well, to try to be happy always so the opposite feels, humility etc. Do not let yourself be overcome by anxiety, anguish, sadness, pride, hatred, etc. Jesus is our only way, He is our joy.
 
Although it has been a difficult path for me, it really is worth it. The amount of wounds and difficult moments in my life was so strong, huge wounds and wounds in my self-esteem but especially in my being as a man, in my masculinity. Jesus has healed me, gives me strength and above all the love I so much sought, in prayer, in a very special way in the Eucharist and also in devotion to his Blessed Mother, who is also my Mother. I feel that the old thirst to look for another man is extinguished, I am that man that looked so much, I recovered my lost identity !!! I love God first, I love myself and I love others as myself. I have forgiven myself and I have forgiven others.
 
People look at me differently: they respect me and take me into account much more than before. I feel better. I also feel now a healthy and true attraction to women, not uncontrolled or forced, something natural. I have also received many other enormous blessings in my work and study.
 
It is not something magical, it is something of struggle and above all of having a lot of faith in God and not accepting defeat never, never, ever. Without God this process could not have been carried out, it is Jesus who has done it all, the only thing I have done has been to let myself be guided by Him and trust Him. I asked God for help from the bottom of my soul and He he listened Of course there are blessings, but there will also continue to be problems and difficulties. I have to stay united with Jesus to keep me on my feet. I can not do anything, and I am nothing without Him.
 

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4. Januar 2018 um 0:31

 I had a homosexual tendency, but now I have changed, I am a new person.
I am a 28 year old man and I want to share my experience to give hope to people with homosexual tendencies men and women who are looking to get out of this situation many times with desperation.
 
Since I was a child I had this tendency, and in youth up to the age of 24 I entered this world, sometimes it seemed that I was going to fulfill my desires and searches but everything ended up being like a mirage, I did not find what I was looking for.
 
From the age of 7 I was immersed in a very religious and spiritual Catholic environment in my family, so God was always present in my life to this day.
When I fell into masturbation, pornography, chats; I felt very bad afterwards, because according to my faith it was a grave sin and it seriously offended God. Even so, I continued to fall because they were already ingrained habits and I did not have enough fear to offend God. I was always going to urgently seek confession with a priest in any church, even if it was very frequent.
Then in a moment I was further away from God than at any other time by a person who seemed at first to be the best thing in my life, but later it began to look like a falsehood. Although I tried to seek God by asking forgiveness for getting away from Him, that situation was quite strong and I was letting myself be totally dominated by that.
In the university academic part I was not having the results that I expected after years of effort and suffering, this was something that was tormenting me. So at that moment I began to feel very much the presence and action of God in my life because I could not do anything else.
 
Then my brother invited me to a spiritual retreat, I had already attended many things of God: retreats, congresses, groups, prayers etc. But in this retreat like never before, Jesus revealed himself to me in a very strong and profound way, although I did not see him, I strongly felt his presence and that He loved me very much. In the end I saw the Virgin Mary in a slightly fuzzy way.
After that I could not be the same, it was something that marked me a lot. I changed my life radically. I moved away from all the people related to my previous life, especially those that could lead me directly or indirectly to follow the homosexual tendency and I eliminated my Facebook account. I did not know very well what I should do, I just know that I had to change my life totally. Then I began to pray a lot, ask God for forgiveness, thank Him, ask Him to heal me and free me from all bad things, and make the effort not to offend Him more at all costs.
The experience that I had lived in the retreat gave me great fear of offending God, so even though it was almost impossible, I did not fall again into masturbation, pornography, chats, etc. I left the television and movies that although they were common and current, when there was a man character I was in danger of allowing the homosexual tendency in my thought. When I had a thought of that kind or some look I rejected them immediately and energetically with prayer.
 
Time passed and things became difficult, worse than before in the academic part I had to lower my head a lot, learn the virtue of humility, and in a very special way trust in God. A trauma of my childhood, which I will explain later, had much to do in this situation as in others. I had no other choice but to make myself like a helpless child, in the hands of my God father, in imitation of the Child Jesus.
Trust Him so I would not understand, and despite the difficulties that seemed to get worse. This lasted two and a half years, in that last half year something very strange happened to me. At least the idea that I was a man came to my mind, and this was trying to take over me completely. Although by common sense I knew it was, I did not feel like one.
It was a very complicated situation for me, that could not fit, at that moment I felt anything, unless I was a man, I really felt someone very weak and helpless, very hurt, like a small child. When I got the idea that I was a man, that lasted me one day and then I rejected it because I felt it as an unbearable and incomprehensible burden for me. This same event occurred a few times more approximately every 3 or 4 weeks. And always I ended up discarding it.
Each time these events became stronger, and I began to feel and have some small visions that The Sacred Heart of Jesus was the author of this. I consulted in the Word of God constantly, and it told me very often that I should forgive, and love and love me. I had to accept that God had already forgiven me, accept and feel that He loved me and forgive me, love myself and my body, that is indispensable.


 

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